Painting tutus. It’s not something that I tangibly do everyday, though I definitely did one day. The kids and I got out my giant pink skirt, then I bought six, bright colors of innocent acrylic paint, and away we went. We started throwing and painting the tulle in our backyard grass, losing a bit of apprehension and fear with each splat.
I didn’t set out to wildly paint tutus in my backyard. It’s just sort of what happened. Isn’t that how God works?
In college, I set out to study health science and the human body, which I did. I was then planning on dialing that health science into some sort of equation of medical school, art therapy, world travel, and generosity overload. And then one day, a boy with spiky, dark hair called my dorm room and asked me to walk with him to a soccer game across campus.
So I did.
And in the midst of that meeting of campus soccer games, and dating, marriage, and then children—that studying of health science turned into a tutu of health science. And the life we started creating together turned into different personalities of our children, and before I knew it, I was in the backyard throwing wet paint at a skirt. All while going through some ceremony of personal deliverance, tears, laughing, and sweat.
It didn’t occur to me as a young woman in college that I would need more to my essence than one discreet career: medicine. It didn’t occur to me in college that becoming a wife and mother would open my sphere of influence into many interests and even several careers. It also didn’t occur to me in college that there would be a season of death in each one of those interests and careers in order for the true gifts to be re-birthed, but that’s what happened.
Decorating my tutu with the death of immaturity and also with resurrection life has somewhat become my current model in life. I’ve rarely pursued career in any form, but I’ve definitely pursued expression. And in the expression comes favorable home life and the children and the careers. The goal for me was this: How do I get everything that is going on in my spirit and mind outside into the open air? How do I release this Heaven into Earth? Get whole revelation into the broken world? Reveal honesty as allowed and celebrated in Biblical process and church culture? Get healing into ripe places? Get light in the dark spaces?
I decided to paint with color, and then just let it be.
I didn’t know my tutu would contain colors of teaching my kids’ school, writing, art, voice over, speaking, dancing, essential oiling, knitting, dreaming, blogging, picture-taking, violin playing (working on it), and singing again. But it did, and it does. And more color keeps coming as I keep embracing it…
And so I just keep decorating. With the more and more that comes from my time with Him and from His heart of overflow. Some of those colors are turning into careers, and some of those colors are for pure enjoyment. Some of those colors will be for only me, while others of those colors go around the world, behind the scenes and inside places unknown to most.
Life is tangible. It’s also exponential. Life is practical and experienced, and it’s also spiritual and bigger than we see.
That’s how my tutu is, too. Full of color and vibrance and life. What’s in your tutu?
What do you want to express?